Do I Sound Like a Screaming Child?

On the plane today, after sleeping probably 1/2 the way, I was awakened by a crying child.  It seems like the more I travel, the more I just want to avoid the screaming child thing.  "Oh no," I thought, "here we go..." 

The kid's cries were continuing on and on, and thankfully I was able to turn up my iPod and drown them out.  And I imagined how frustrated the mother must be getting with her child, continuing to cry and scream.  How embarrased she might be - or annoyed.

But then, inexplicably, I started to listen to his cries.  And I started to wonder, "Why is he still crying?  It's been about 15 or 20 minutes now..."  And as I listened to him to try to figure out what he might be crying about, I guessed maybe he was in pain - it seemed not the cry of rebellion, or sadness, but there were gasps and sobs and starts and stops to his cry.  I wondered if he was having inner ear problems - we were descending at that point, and I remembered my first plane ride as a child and the pain in my head that didn't stop, and all the adults were telling me to yawn, swallow, giving me gum to chew...

And it was at that point, when my frustration with the screaming child, turned to compassion.  I suddenly saw through the annoyance and just felt for whatever was causing the screams.  Tears stung my eyes and I quickly wiped them away - what would someone think to see this girl crying for no apparent reason on the plane?

Another wave of recognition passed over me again a few minutes later.

"Is this what we sound like to you, God?"

I was reminded of the many times I've poured out my soul to Him over the past few months - in gasps and sobs, stopping and starting, just like this little boy a few rows behind me was doing right now.  Asking Him to fix the wrongs - heal my hurts - soothe my soul.  Crying out to my parent, many times without words, because there were just none to express what I was feeling.

And He is there.  Listening, holding me, smoothing my hair as I cry out my day to Him.  In some situations, just like this little boy, He knows that I have to endure the hurts in order to make it through the journey.  But He is there, His heart breaking to watch us go through the pain.

I thought of this mother, who very well could be annoyed - but more likely was in pain along with her son, but staying by his side through the whole journey and through every tear, bringing him to an eventual 'happy ending' of sorts, and I thought of my heavenly Father.

The end of MasterPeace

I flipped the switches...one by one, down the long column...and in response, each row of lights in the theatre flicked off. With one leg hooked around the doorframe, hanging into the funny little room with all the breakers for the theatre, I shut down the lights as I've done so, so many times before. Most nights of rehearsal and performance, this is my job. Except I went much slower tonight, because this time, I realized, would probably be the last. The finality hit me in that moment, and I got a little nostalgic.

Tonight, an end of a (short) era for me. I've been working with MasterPeace Productions and Laney since the summer show last year, 2009, and tonight was our last show. Laney is leaving employment with the church (First Baptist Church of Scottsdale) to do something else, and that most likely means that MasterPeace will be no more. Even if someone else does take over, its uncertain that I'd continue, so at this point I'm saying goodbye.

This show (Cheaper by the Dozen), has been an interesting learning and growing experience for me...12 kids is a lot, regardless if you have experience handling kids or not. I do not. So that was an interesting thing...learning how to motivate kids - and adults alike. God has been teaching me things about relationships at the same time this has been going, so it's been quite the stretching exercise.

Not too much more to say at the moment. I'll be taking a short break and have the next few months sketched out as far as next projects, but mostly they involve travel.

I'm supposed to attend a week-long training class in San Francisco in April, assuming my company will send me. Attached to that trip, I should be spending the prior weekend with my best friend Amanda in nearby Santa Cruz. And sometime in April I'm going to visit pregnant best friend Teesha in San Diego for the weekend.

May...church weekend trip to Lost Canyon with a bunch of other church young adult groups...looks like it'll be an awesome time.

June brings a 10-day trip home to VA for my sister Grace's wedding. It's 2 days before my birthday, and I fly out the day after. Oh, and on that note, I've decided no more big birthday parties...the big three-oh last year was the last one...

July...err...do I have anything scheduled yet?

August...Teesha's baby is due, and in her mind, she thinks she's gonna call me when she goes into labor, I'm going to hop in a plane, and be there for the birth. She's always had this idea, even before she got pregnant. I dunno how it'll work, but we'll see!

Somewhere in there we'll be doing some major film stuff with VerticalBlu, and I'll probably be doing a lot of church volunteer projects, and wedding stuff with Grace. So I guess I'll hold off on committing to any new theatre stuff till after August, huh...

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